Friday, December 01, 2006

Top Ten Reasons Why a Vibrator Is Better Than a Man

1. It keeps going, and going, and going.
A vibrator can keep going as long as it takes to satisfy you. All it needs is a power supply, and batteries are a lot cheaper and easier to get than Viagra.

2. You don’t have to worry where else it’s been.
Unless you picked it up at a yard sale, you won’t have to give a second thought to who else might have used your vibrator before you. And you won’t have to worry about your vibrator jumping in another woman’s pants when you’re gone, unless if you have a freaky roommate.

3. Vibrators can have more than one speed.
Most guys have two settings: full speed and off. Vibrators have variable controls and let you pick the pace and intensity.

4. A vibrator won’t ask you if it’s bigger than all other vibrators you’ve had.
Vibrators aren’t insecure about their size or ability, and don’t keep asking for reassurance. Big or small, they just get the job done.

5. A vibrator doesn’t roll over and snore.
A vibrator won’t finish before you and fall asleep. When you’re done with it, just shut it off and tuck it in your night stand drawer, then get a peaceful night’s rest with the bed to yourself.

6. It’s ready when you are, and only when you are.
With a flick of a switch, your vibrator is ready to give you pleasure. On the other hand, when you’re tired or have a headache, you won’t get in bed and find your vibrator turned on.

7. Vibrators are designed for your pleasure.
A penis is designed for procreation and male sexual pleasure, not to stimulate the clitoris and bring a woman to orgasm. A vibrator, on the other hand, was created with women in mind. Use the right tool for the job.

8. No germs and no sperm.
A vibrator can’t get you pregnant or give you an STD. You’ll never have to worry about birth control, condoms, or safe sex. If you like the feel of latex, slap a condom on for easy cleaning.

9. Vibrators don’t expect you to swallow.
You will never have to give your vibrator a blow job, much less swallow its cum or be made to feel guilty if you don’t.

10. Vibrators are easy to replace.
If your vibrator breaks, wears out, or is defective, it’s easy enough to buy another one. Of course, a guy is easy to replace, too, but you can’t order one online and get home delivery.

Honestly, I think that is a lesbians provocation

    

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